I guess I will finally have to accept that I will never have him. Never hold him again. Look into his blue eyes again. It hurts, but in a way, I almost feel relieved. I don’t have to worry about him hurting me anymore, or stringing me along. Although I do have regrets. I regret seeing him on the weekend. I regret all the sex, because now I just feel disgusting. I regret giving him all of my money to pay for the hotel room. I regret ever talking to him in the first place. I regret ever meeting him. He was both the best and the worst thing to ever happen to me. I love him with all that I am, and I don’t think nine years of feelings will go away easily. I’m broken. I’m depressed. I’ve never cut so deep in my life. But I feel somewhat stronger. Like nothing can hold me back now.
Oh—you wouldn’t date a girl who’s ever been a stripper?
In that case, I wouldn’t date a guy who’s ever been to a strip club.
Oh—you wouldn’t date a girl who’s ever done porn?
In that case, I wouldn’t date a guy who’s ever watched porn.
You’re the reason we exist.
You’re the demand to our supply.
If you disdain sex workers, don’t you dare consume our labor.
As they say in the industry, “People jack off with the left hand and point with the right.”"
It’s been 0 days since I last took a blade to my skin. I’m so disappointed in myself.
DO NOT YELL AT ME FOR SAYING SORRY TOO MUCH BECAUSE I WILL ACCIDENTALLY APOLOGIZE EVEN MORE AND SORRY
I hate liars..
Well it only took a few days for me to fuck that up again. :’( whatever. I didn’t deserve him anyways
I just wanna feel you
I’m really struggling right now. I’m not sure why, and I’m not sure how it started. All I know is that my stomach hurts, my heart aches and tears won’t stop running down my cheeks.
I feel like a coward. A sissy. A wuss. Awkward. Stupid. Pathetic.
I should be moving on, but all I seem to do, is moving in circles. And they all come back to you."